How many times do we put our children, jobs, or even friends above the needs of our spouse? I wanted to share a movie clip from Parental Guidance (2012) but could not make it work so here is a quote from the scene I was going to share. “After your kids grow up, your husband’s the one who stays“.
How profound is that statement? Someone shared with me how when they became ’empty nesters’ that they had to get to know each other all over again because they both got caught up in careers, schooling, and raising kids that they forgot to date each other throughout their marriage. They put their marriage on the back burner because they both felt that it would be fine and they had the same goals of raising a family, and though their marriage is doing great, many couples divorce after their children leave because they realize they are living with a stranger.
So how do we keep from living with a stranger? Every couple will be different on how they do this but the main principle is to put your marriage first. My mission President told me before going home that when I find my spouse, remember the order of priority. First God, second spouse, and third children. Though my order of priority may not seem like I put my marriage first, I do because I am being the wife I know the Lord needs me to be for my husband. Because the Lord knows him better than I do and when I place the Lord first I am more likely to act more forgiving and patient with my husband. This works for me and my husband and making sure our marriage is a top priority. It shows that I love and care for my husband and seek his needs above my own.
Dr. Gary Chapman and his book The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted in chapter three, talks about what love really is. One thing that struck me when reading this chapter is how he talked about couples saying how they just do not love each other any more and he goes on to say that not loving someone is a choice. When we place our marriage and spouse first we are making the first steps of loving our spouse. We are showing our spouse that they are important to us and that we want to love them and we want to choose love for them over everything else.
I feel like America is really forgetting the importance of marriage. It’s good to see that other countries know what they’re doing. (By the way, your English is really good, if not for your punctuation, I would have no idea that it was your second language. Bravo!)