You know the saying “one step at a time”? A while ago I took a step and got stabbed in the foot by a bone shard and later that night as my husband and I were discussing our future plans he said that saying, so I responded but what about the painful steps? In life we will find times that we step on painful objects and what are we to do but desire to take that step back. But in the words of a wise monkey “The past can hurt, but the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it.” Running from the pain tends to make us repeat it again and again but when we choose to learn from it we can find that we stop making that painful step, not that we wont find a new painful one to step on.
In marriage, all you are doing is taking one step at a time as you progress in your marriage. But those that have been married or in a relationship know that not all steps are easy and some hurt. Even if you are not in a relationship and just experiencing life, there are painful steps!! So when you hit those painful steps what do you do? Do you scream and shout? Do you sit cry saying “woe is me!”? Do you turn around and step on it again? Or do you address it, clean it up, and make sure you never take that painful step again?
An important note to make when it comes to taking painful steps, is no one is at fault for them. Painful steps are not always what you think they are. In my experience, I have found most of my painful steps have been about opening up and being vulnerable to Seth. It’s been about sharing my fears and burdens of having had to drive daily to the NICU with our first two children. It’s been my separation anxiety I got when moving across country away from my friends and family. It’s been sucking up my pride and asking for help when we needed it. Painful steps are needed in life because it allows us to fully enjoy the joyful steps.
The hardest part when it comes to those painful steps though, is the moving on. The steps feel painful for a long time because we stay on the step hoping the pain will just disappear if we ignore it. But if I kept my foot on that piece of bone, it would have gotten worse. Just like if I never addressed my concerns with my husband about moving across country, my concerns would have festered till they became resentments and blame towards him.
It’s hard, but the painful steps only have to last a moment as we build courage address it and move on. We can find the soft and smooth surface of the next step, all we have to do is lift our foot and take the step.