Every year when Halloween would come and go, I would be disappointed in our lack of a family costume and jealous of all the family/couples costumes out there. The main excuse I used as every year passed was that Seth doesn’t dress up and doesn’t do Halloween. But in all reality, my confidence was low and I worried about what others would say. But since working on my confidence I have found joy this Halloween season and joy in doing something that makes me happy without taking away from my husband’s happiness.
I am not a die hard Halloween fan but I enjoy the dressing up and getting creative, going to my neighbors and chatting a little bit, and of course I love the chocolate. But the last few years were always so stressful because I worried about my husband’s comfort, I worried about my lack of costume, or my kids lack of theme. I was so focused on the negative things that I didn’t really enjoy the simple treats of Halloween.
When I built my confidence, I was able to accept that my husband wouldn’t want to be part of the trick or treating, I accepted that the chances of having a family costume theme is very slim, and I accepted that others opinion of what I dressed as didn’t matter. This has been one of the best Halloweens because I dressed up and got way into my character, I got to enjoy taking my two older ones trick or treating while Seth stayed home with the baby.
When you gain Confidence, you gain independence from comparing your life, marriage, and children to other families. You start to accept where you are, where you want to go, and how you want to get there. You stop worrying about others thoughts and opinions and start enjoying the journey that you are creating with and for your family.
So if you are like me and haven’t been able to enjoy the Holidays because you married someone less enthusiastic about them and you are always trying to make sure he starts to love them like you do! Stop! Start having fun, you never know, maybe one day he’ll jump on the train with you. But for now, enjoy it with your kids and tell him about it when you get home. My husband enjoyed Halloween more seeing my joy with the kids than me trying to force the joy on him!
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