This post is not to condemn or ridicule those who choose divorce. I have had a few friends who recently made this choice and it got me thinking, how do we lower the rates of divorce? or even why are so many quick to marry and then quick to divorce? I feel like as a society, we no longer keep commitments. We give up easily and prioritize other commitments above marriage. Because, that is why divorces happen, something becomes more important than the original commitment to your marriage.
When my husband and I got married, one of the first agreements we made was divorce would never be an option. Many people will think what a naive agreement. They would say, you never know what will happen. Well, I don’t know what will happen, but I do know that it won’t be divorce.
My husband and I, have and will always, choose our marriage above everything. If there is something in our dreams and goals that need to change to make our marriage work, we will change it. If we struggle with our happiness, or self-worth, we don’t place the blame on our marriage or our spouse but instead take responsibility. Sometimes it means changing what we thought we always wanted or changing the perspective of who we wanted to be. Becoming happy and loving ourselves again can happen without changing our spouse.
If you have chosen to divorce your spouse, that is your decision. I don’t know you or your life so I have no idea what reason or action contributed to this decision. I do hope though, that the next time you marry, make the agreement with each other that divorce will never be an option and if you can’t make that promise maybe don’t get married. Marriage needs to be an eternal promise, not just a convenient or emotional decision. Marriage is a commitment, and that feeling you had when you made that commitment will not always be present. You’ll question it, you’ll maybe even regret it, but remember that a commitment is staying true to a promise you made even when the moment you made it is no longer there. I know that as you stay to that commitment that moment comes back and you remember the love and desire you have for your spouse and you remember why you said yes in the first place.