I have created a tool to help you create your perfect spouse. Before explain what it is and how it works I am just going to hop right into it. I want you to write your spouse a letter and tell them everything that they do that annoys and frustrates you. So stop reading and do this. Now that you have done that, I want the next paragraph to be about everything you wish they did. So stop and do that. Now be honest in this letter, and don’t worry about your spouse seeing it because this letter is not for them. Because where you wrote their name I want you to cross it out and write your name.
Often your perception or image of someone says more about your own reflection. Things that frustrate you about your spouse are more often than not, things that you struggle with yourself. A personal example, I get so annoyed when I see my husband playing games on his phone. After I did this exercise I realized I was annoyed with myself and how much time I was wasting and scrolling through social media on my own phone. It had nothing to do with my husband and what he did with his time, it was me. This exercise is to help you realize where you are falling short and where you want to be better. You cannot change your spouse, but you can change yourself to be the best spouse that you want to be. My dad always told me, “it’s not about finding the one, but being the one”. The best part of this exercise though is for you to accept yourself for your faults and stop focusing on your spouses. By doing so, you are able to create the perfect spouse from within. Because being the perfect spouse is not about having zero faults, its about accepting your faults, seeking to do better, and stop placing blame on your spouse.