In Genesis 2:24, God commands man to cleave unto his wife. What does it mean to cleave though? In the dictionary, it says “to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly”. I contemplated this as I started reading Becoming Better Together by John Van Epp. In the first few chapters he talks about how we believe that marriage should just balance itself out and if it does not, then maybe the marriage was not meant to be. But John Van Epp shares that marriages “are always in a state of balancing”. Just like the word cleave, balancing is about action, doing something to place your marriage where you want it.
My problem, is when new life experiences and challenges pop up, I try to seek to put our marriage back to where it was instead of allowing it to evolve to our new climate. I’m constantly on myself about how we used to be and not focused on what we could be. There is nothing constant about life. You change, your environments, careers, children, everything changes. Something is always changing or new things come into your life so why should your marriage not also change. We need to allow our marriage to change for the better by actively cleaving or balancing our marriage so that we can have that powerhouse marriage.
To help me achieve this I decided to start weekly marriage goals that will allow my marriage to grow and change with our environment as it changes around us. With cleaving on my mind, I decided to use that as my basis for my goal. I want to cleave to my husband more. With having two toddlers and one of the way I forget to give my husband the attention he needs when he’s talking to me. The plan to accomplish my goal is to listen when he talks, which means that I’ll stop looking at my phone, doing chores, or being distracted by my children and have my focus entirely on my husband. Listening is a full body action and letting my husband know that he is my top priority by turning my whole body towards him, he’ll know that I am cleaving to him and none else.
What are some ways YOU can cleave to your spouse more?