You’ve created a routine. You have a system. You feel like you have some sort of normalcy going on. What happens? COVID-19 and now all the kids are in the home and you and/or your spouse are working from home. Creating a lot more time together as a family, which is awesome but can also be soul sucking. My husband and I were lucky because he was already working from home so it was not an adjustment for us. I want to share some tips on how we created a better environment with him always being there.
First thing I learned, was never criticize. Now that he is home more, you ask for help for the everyday mundane day chores. What happens? In my experience he always did it but sometimes it was twenty to thirty minutes after I asked or he did it differently than I would have. Well when you criticize, what happens is he no longer wants to help out because he does not want to be told that he is doing it wrong. Do not criticize, say thank you because guess what? It got done. The chore you asked for help with, because you did not want to do it, was taken care of. When you say thank you and move on, he is more likely to want to reach out and help more because he likes to feel needed and helpful.
I love having a schedule and creating a routine. I have certain expectations or rules set for the kids. When your husband is there, especially if the kids are not used to it, it can completely disrupt everything. Communication is key here. Talk to him about your routine and let him know how important it is to you. If it is not important but there are some key aspects of it are, for me it is nap time, let him know. Talk about creating a new routine that works for you both but still allows for the important parts to stay the same. When telling him about your routine, explain why, let him understand that it helps keep your sanity, or it makes for a smoother day for the kids.
For many of you during this quarantine, this time will not last. Take advantage of this time as a family and as a couple. Have one on one time with each child. Remember to have your date nights, check out date boxes for fun as home activities. Try new things together. But also remember that you both need alone time, try taking turns who gets to brave the grocery store, go for a walk alone or a drive. Do not let this special time lead to turmoil in your marriage because he is always there, but let it be a memory of when you were able to focus on things that matter and not have any outside sources vying for your time.