This week a friend asked me about my opinions on eternal marriages. As member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, when my husband and I got married instead of “till death do you part” we were told, “for time and all eternity” creating our eternal marriage. I believe and know that my marriage is eternal but I also believe that others of different faith also have eternal marriage because eternal marriage is more a mindset than words saying your marriage is eternal.
What does it mean to have an eternal marriage mindset?, it means that my perspective is shifted to one of eternity. When my husband and I disagree or fight, I seek to reflect on the topic and if this is an eternal problem or an earthly one. When you shift your focus to that you fight differently. We do not immediately see eye to eye but it stops being about seeking to win the fight but seeking to understand each other instead. We disagree but we do not think the other is wrong.
When you fight differently and stop looking at the other person as wrong, you start actually seeing results in coming to a solution for a disagreement or argument. You stop fighting about things that do not matter. You start creating standards for things that do matter. You tackle problems in solution mode and stop making excuses why it won’t work. Having an eternal perspective allows you to really focus on things and opinions that truly matter.
Now the question is, how do we have an eternal perspective? For me, it’s about developing self growth. It’s about focusing on yourself and not worrying about your spouse and what they are doing. You need to focus on becoming the one instead of creating the one. Developing Christlike attributes like faith, hope, humility, and many more.