After three years of marriage, I noticed something that was happening to me. I slowly disappeared into Seth’s shadow. My life began to revolve around him and everything I did, I did for him. There is nothing wrong with doing somethings for your spouse, but I learned that everything was revolving around him and I lost who I was. I knew I was doing this, but couldn’t find my way out or how severe it was becoming. Because I started something, that I wanted him to do and thought if I did it he would do it. I thought if I did it, he would be inspired or in the very least I would learn how to inspire him. What I learned and found instead was my own inner queen.
To often, women either believe that a queen just sits idling by while her kings does all the work or women believe that to have power and influence they have to be a lonely queen with no king. To often men and women do not believe that kings and queens are capable of working together and being separate. Well I am here to tell you differently and share with you my experience of finding my inner Queen while still supporting, loving, and working with my King.
For ten days I participated in Travis Brady’s the King Challenge. To be honest, I looked at the guidelines or rules of of the challenge and believed it would be easy, but day two came around and Travis made a post about stepping up to the next level. He gave us guidelines, but I had to think like a leader and step up to the next level. Only I could tell myself what that would mean, because it is my level not anyone else’s. So I looked at the guidelines and inside of myself, and decided what it meant to level up for me.
As I made my own rules from the guidelines, it stopped being about doing this for my husband but for me. I was reading books that I needed to read, I chose podcast that spoke to me, and I watched his training videos when I knew I could give my whole attention to them. Where day one, I thought which book would benefit my husband, which podcast could I listened to while my husband was home, I’ll wait to watch the training when it’s convenient for Seth. My whole mindset switched and I was slowly able to find my Queen.
Many things happened during and after those ten days. One was I became more patient on the journey my husband was on for his business, dreams, and goals. I learned more about where in my life I needed to grow. I became more confident in who I am and what I want in life. My favorite aspect of this challenge was I never felt like I left my husband in the dark but I was able to step out of his shadow and create my own shadow without putting him in mine. We created our own shadows while at the same time creating a greater light for our empire.
If you are struggling with finding your inner Queen/King or worried if you do find her/him it means you need to step away from your spouse. I am here to tell you, you are capable and it is very possible to create an empire with a King and Queen working together while also having their own shadow. If you are not sure how to find it, ask yourself where you need to level up.